In the Autumn of 2016, the organization I worked for had some volatile years after losing a huge chunk of their clients. We went through restructuring to tighten up the budget and create an efficient workforce to meet the changing demands of the market.
It was a necessary evil, at least to the leaders. This was not the first time we went through something like this. The only problem was that many people lost their jobs during that time. It destroyed our workflow. Honestly, I was just happy to have a job in the end of it.
My team lost our supervisor for our region. I found out that we would temporarily take directions from the Regional Director until we were assigned a new supervisor. I heard rumors from colleagues that the Reginal Director was a pain to deal with. Basically, she was not friendly. I told myself, “Don’t worry. Dominic, you work remotely.”
I had dealt with difficult situations and people in my life. Moreover, I am a reasonable person, so this should not have any bearing on my work.
One day, I received an email from the Regional Director which said that she wanted to be copied on emails to our clients. She also wanted to do a case consult before reaching out to each client directly.
I followed up with her on a client case and wanted to get clarification on it before I reached out to them. She replied in all-caps that I should re-read her email carefully. She didn’t want to be bothered with little things. I had assumed that she respected my judgment and decisions. I reached out to the client and copied her on the email. In an instant, she called me with
some questions.
I initially thought she wanted to get acquainted with the case. I tried to give her a breakdown of the situation. She shut me off and said, in a grumpy voice, that I should have consulted with her first before I sent that email out. I apologized and told her that I tried but she did not provide me with any respond. Somehow, I rubbed her the wrong way.
After that encounter, she became overwhelmingly critical of my work. She asked that I report my daily tasks to her and she would questioned almost everything I did. She even refused a low-cost proposal I submitted to her for an event.
Things got so bad that she would point out any typos in my emails in a very rude way and asked that I correct them. It felt like I was being extremely micro-managed and unappreciated.
During my performance evaluation, she did not acknowledge my effort or say anything positive about my work. Long story short, I felt uncomfortable having her as a supervisor and senior manager. I wanted to quit this job.
I broke down in tears one Friday after work. I had my personal crises but work was taking a toll on me. I felt like my body had taken enough. I was ready to walk out of the job. Then I received a phone call from a close friend of mine. This is someone I truly admire and takes advice from. She could sense that something wasn’t right.
She asked if everything was okay and I poured my heart out to her. I told her about the whole situation at workplace. She remained quiet for a while after I was done venting. She said, “I am truly sorry you’re going through this.”
She took a deep breath and said, “How much do you want this job?” I wasn’t sure what to say. “Of course, I want this job. I have a kid to raise,” I whispered to myself. At that time, I was a single dad and I did not have another financial alternative. My entire life depended on the income I made
from that job.
She asked, “Have you looked elsewhere for job opportunities in your field?” I responded, “Yes, I have been looking for jobs since things got worse. I just haven’t found one yet.” She said “I have some advice for you.” She basically said something and let me paraphrase, she wanted me to shower the Regional Director with gratitude. To everything she says or does, I should respond with a “Thank You.” I thought, “How can I thank someone who is being cruel to me?” However, I was curious about the outcome of saying it. So, I decided to put it to a test.
Whenever the Regional Director would criticize me or say anything at all, I would respond with thank you. I mastered that act of saying thank you so well that I embedded it in my email signature. I even went so far as to ask her if there was anything more I could do to help.
Gradually, I saw a shift. She started changing. She stopped nagging and became gentler with me. She complimented me on the work I did. She slowly stopped proofreading every single email I sent out and focused more on the task. She even started saying thank you back to
me.
It was a strange time but there was a huge change in her character after I started showering her with gratitude. Not only did I save my job, but she was moved to a different region a few weeks later.
Gratitude opens the door to…the power, the wisdom, the creativity of the universe. -Deepak Chopra
There is something to be said about gratitude. It is a simple word yet a powerful tool. It can save you from huge headaches, like losing your job or finding yourself and in a terrifying situation. You may not be dealing with a difficult boss.
You may not be dealing with a difficult supervisor. You may not be dealing with a difficult employer. It could just be a difficult person. It could be a colleague, a parent, a spouse, a teacher, or a person in a superior position. Whomever you find yourself dealing with in life, remember that gratitude is always the antidote to these circumstances. Overwhelm your critic with gratitude!