We had close to 100 big sheep, and I was the shepherd. The sheep were a very important asset of the family. I couldn’t remember how I was assigned this role but I took pride in it, as I had not had success with many assignments in the family before.
I couldn’t dress or skin a chicken. I couldn’t climb the tallest coconut trees. I couldn’t even catch a chicken. I was scared of them. All my older siblings had their fair share of handling major responsibilities in the family. I guess it’s my turn now.
My work was simple: clean the sheep shed, take them out to graze and cut the grass for them. Basically, I took care of them. I had my routine down to a science. I could even do these activities in my sleep.
One of my favorite perks of taking care of the sheep was taking them out to graze in the field. I usually invited a few friends along to play with. We played soccer and other games while the sheep grazed. We sometime played until they were ready to head home.
One sunny afternoon, I had just gotten back from school and was anxious to go play with friends. I barely finished my lunch before heading to the shed. Daavi, my mother, was a bit skeptical about my unusual behavior of leaving very early with the sheep. She asked, “Why the rush of taking the sheep out so early?” Like any smarty pants, I responded, “I wanted to make sure they were well fed.”
I usually took the sheep out between 3:30 and 4 pm. Yes, Daavi was right, it was unusual to leave before 2pm. I overheard Daavi saying something to Papa (my father), but I couldn’t quite grasp what she said. Before they knew it, I was gone. I invited some friends along to play. Like any other day, I was just excited to spend time with friends.
As the sheep grazed, my friends and I kicked a soccer ball around. We enjoyed this for a while. When I turned around to check on the sheep, they were gone!
Initially, I didn’t panic. This was not the first time they disappeared. The sheep sometimes leave by themselves when they are full. I usually traced them by their footprints. I immediately left my friends and went after the sheep.
This time, it was hard to trace their footprints. I assumed they went home by themselves. I quietly snuck into my house to see if they were in the shed. Surprisingly, they were not there. I got very scared and quickly sneaked out of the house. I looked everywhere in the neighborhood, but I could not find them. The more I couldn’t find them, the more I got scared and nervous. I panicked and a few tears managed to squeeze out of eyes. I took a deep breath and continued to search for them.
I asked a few people if they saw the sheep. I recall a woman who said that she saw a tall man with sheep, but she couldn’t remember the exact location in which they were headed. This even made me more worried.
It was past 6 p.m. and I still couldn’t find the sheep. At 6 p.m., I was usually home with the sheep. I took a bath, ate dinner, and got some homework done. My parents had a strict curfew for me to be in bed by 9 p.m. I looked everywhere and but still couldn’t find them. I knew that I was in huge trouble with my family. I thought of everything that could happen to me if I went home to share the news with my parents, I was especially worried about my father.
I decided to abandon my family and run away. Without thinking much about it, I started to walk away from home. I walked far as I could. I walked until it got very late at night. I was far from home and it was dark everywhere! I was also emotionally exhausted and just overwhelmed.
I sat under a huge tree. I had my legs folded and my hands wrapped around my legs. I started to sob. I wept until I fell asleep. I had this strange nightmare of being isolated in a forest. I was just by myself. I heard a loud voice which said “Go home! Go home!”.
I got up quickly and was scared. I was not sure what came over me, but I decided to return home. I walked in the direction I came from. After several miles, I heard a loud noise. Then I saw a group of people with lamps and torch lights. When I got closer to the group, I realized it was my family and close friends. One of my siblings yelled from the crowed, “Is that you, Dotse?”. Then I heard the voice of my mother, who is usually in bed at 9 p.m.
I took a deep breath and revealed myself to them. Daavi was extremely upset and emotional when she laid her eyes on me. Then she gave me that look! The look said more than words could explain. “I am disappointed in you”, she thought. I remembered how frustrated she looked. She slapped me on the face and asked, “Where are the sheep?” I couldn’t utter a word.
She said in a fierce voice, “Go face your father!” These words echoed through my lungs. I had to face Papa? I became even more scared now. All the fears I had about my father came back. Papa is a no-nonsense man. If someone would have said Papa had killed a lion with his bare hands, I would believe it.
Papa was like another God on earth. He was extremely disciplined and didn’t tolerate nonsense from anyone, not even his colleagues. And now, I had to face him. With all his illnesses, I am still terrified of him. “No, no!”, I whispered to myself. I need to quickly come up with a runaway plan. Unfortunately, I was out of options. In the midst of all this, I felt very strange surrounded by family and friends, especially this late at night. I felt like I was on a trial, waiting for my death sentence.
Daavi asked one of my older siblings to walk me home… to face Papa. We initially walked side-by-side, but he caught on to the idea that I could take off. Run away. He immediately held my hand firmly. This move sealed my fate.
I knew I had nowhere to run. I was at the mercy of my father. I tried to convince my brother to let me run away. But, of course, he would not do that. The fear of facing my father got even worse as we got closer to home. I tried to unleash my hand from my brother’s firm grip but nothing was working. He had an assignment and he would see it through. I shivered and didn’t know how to escape this situation. I knew Papa would be upset to know that I had lost the entire sheep, but I could not fathom how he would react. We were a couple of blocks from home, but it felt like we had been walking forever. The closer we got, the more scared I became.
We finally made it to the front of our house. I felt, confused, and weak. My brother asked me to open the front gate. I could barely move my legs. I slowly opened the gate and locked eyes immediately with Papa. He was awake and sitting with a friend on our porch. When he saw me, he stared at me with a straight face and asked me to walk towards him. My legs went numb as I took my first step. I walked slowly. It felt like the longest walk I ever took. I was just 20 feet away. When I got closer, he pulled me toward him and hugged me tightly. I felt so relieved!
He looked into my eyes and said, “My son is home”. Tear rolled off my face. He asked me if I was hungry and said my food was in the kitchen. He immediately called off the search and asked everyone to return home.
My siblings and friends were shocked. They could not believe my father’s reaction. They thought he would have harshly disciplined me. Instead, he showed me love.
I felt that not only the sheep, but I myself was missing. Because I had the courage to face up to my father, I discovered that his love for me was greater than for the value of the sheep. The takeaway is that many people spend their lives running away from their problems, totally confused like stray sheep. We need to face our personal dilemmas and embrace them to grow. Never run away from your problems, no matter how complex or confusing they are.